I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
