I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
