I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You made out with two different species that night
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
