I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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