Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Randomize
