Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
