Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
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