butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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