I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize