omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You work out of a Hotel?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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