I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
