are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
