I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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