found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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