chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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