barbara walters just said penis...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
