on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
