Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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