I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
