Screwed.edu
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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