I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
babies were throwing up all over the place
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
