oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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