She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize