problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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