So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
