OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
