Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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