We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
