its not stalking. its research.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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