I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
