Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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