Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the condom got lost in my hair
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
