I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
