I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
