My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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