I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
