He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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