If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
