It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
