You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
