I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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