you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
