It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
