census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
