i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
