My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
