does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
did i walk over a car last night?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
