Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
