im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
