I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
