I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
