Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
