this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Randomize
