Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
