batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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