Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
