I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
