weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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