Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize