Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
