took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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