my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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