He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
