Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize